Tuna Tower Hotels

Category: Dining

  • Reviews: Would Stay Again If Left Alone

    Reviews: Would Stay Again If Left Alone

    Nobody tells you this when you start out, but the real work begins around a front desk occupied by a very large loaf.

    We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    If you take only one thing from this, take this: a view of the bird feeder from every room is not a bug. It is the product.

    In summary: act confidently, deny everything, and always keep a clear route to the nearest box.

  • Housekeeping Left a Hairball on the Duvet

    Housekeeping Left a Hairball on the Duvet

    A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    If you take only one thing from this, take this: a view of the bird feeder from every room is not a bug. It is the product.

    Our standard approach involves a front desk occupied by a very large loaf, followed by a lobby fountain that is actually a water bowl, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

    In summary: act confidently, deny everything, and always keep a clear route to the nearest box.

  • Our Pillow Menu Includes Your Pillow

    Our Pillow Menu Includes Your Pillow

    We have been doing this for what feels like nine lives, and we are still not sure who is in charge.

    Our standard approach involves a lobby fountain that is actually a water bowl, followed by a front desk occupied by a very large loaf, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Experts agree that a lobby fountain that is actually a water bowl is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

    We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

    That is all for now. We are told there is a sunbeam going to waste, and a professional never lets that happen.